The truth about staying home

I debated and debated on whether or not to post this.  Or to even write this.  I don't want people to think we are dysfunctional, or that my daughter is a terror.  I decided to write this in case there are other parents out there that need help.

 I love staying at home and watch my babies grow.  I love watching them develop and learn new things.  We've been working with Lacey on tying her shoes...she has done it a handful of times by herself.  It's amazing to watch her face light up whenever she gets it!!  She tells everyone "You can't go to Kindergarten until you can tie your shoes."  So she wants to be good and ready for Kindergarten. 

We've been having trouble with Lacey's behavior.  She is an amazing little girl, very intelligent and picks up on everything.  We don't have any problems at school, she listens, sits, plays with her friends, doesn't do anything that concerns her teacher.  At home she is a different child, slams doors, yells, screams, throws things, hits, bites, says hateful things.

It got so bad one time that I called Brandon in hysterics.  I didn't know what to do.  She was yelling, hitting me, telling me she hated me.  It broke my heart.  I tried to keep my head, remind myself that she is only four and doesn't know any better.  At our next  Parent as teachers meeting I brought it up to her, and she was concerned.  She set us up with counselors from K-State. 

Two weeks ago we finally met them.  They are really sweet, and wanted to get a good feel for our family.  We told them about our concerns, about our family life, about Brandon adopting Lacey, about Lacey's biological father, things they needed to know.  Well last week at our appointment they said that they think we need to get Lacey into our Pediatrician and talk about CAT scans, MRIs...my head starts pounding.  What could possibly be wrong with my little girl? 

So Tuesday I take Lacey to the Dr.  She said absolutely no scans of any sort.  She suggested we meet with a psychiatrist.  She thinks that Lacey may have something called ODD Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  Our Dr. said that she would absolutely not put Lacey on any medications.  Thank goodness!  She said what they would do is more family therapy type of deal.  Help Lacey deal with anger, and help us help Lacey.  

The truth is staying at home isn't always sunshine, and rainbows.  It's hard.  It's stressful.  Some days I cry, some times I lose my temper, some times the kids push every single button.  Some days I feel all alone.  I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I just want other Stay at home mommy's to know that they aren't alone.  That other mommy's have good days and bad days.  That not every day is rainbows and sunshine like they make it seem.

I will keep you all posted about our appointment with the psychiatrist.